Houston church ministers to ministers

Nineteen-year-old refreshment ministry has saved marriages, ministers, director says.
Written by Kay Adkins, TEXAN Correspondent
Posted Tuesday, April 17, 2007

HOUSTON—“Stress is good for you.  Distress is bad for you,” said E. Dixon Murrah, a licensed therapist and Southern Baptist minister who for 19 years has conducted “Stress in the Ministry,” a conference for couples needing refreshment for their ministries and marriages.

About 800 couples from various denominations have benefited from the conference, offered through Sagemont Church in Houston. Many of them profess that their participation in the conference salvaged their marriages, their ministries, or both, Murrah explained. The weeklong, intensive seminar covers topics such as church dynamics, dealing with people and church problems, dealing with burnout and the death of a dream, and relationships with God, self, family and the church.

The conference is held several times each year at Sagemont’s Danbury Retreat Center, 45 minutes from Houston. It is open to any evangelical minister (pastors, missionaries, music ministers, seminary professors, etc.) and their spouses, “whether they are already having problems or not, because both parties are deeply effected. Stress in the church will cause stress in the marriage, and vice versa,” Murrah said. Sagemont provides travel, food, and lodging at no cost to attendees.

Bill Campbell is pastor of Baptist Bible Fellowship in Northwest Houston. Campbell admits that he delayed going to the conference for about eight years. He and his wife had always had a close relationship, and would think, “We don’t really need to go there.” But, being in their 60s and about to begin a new phase of ministry, they went and learned how to let go of unrealized dreams and build new ones.

The Campbells also learned how to develop more open communication in their marriage.
“We are very, very close, but even in that week we grew closer.  Learning how to listen to your mate—that was a key,” he said.

Campbell has since assisted Murrah in teaching the conference material and is now completing his own education in counseling. He and his wife hope to continue assisting in this ministry and others like it, he said. Campbell asserts that the topics covered ought to be part of seminary course work, but he is unaware of any seminary program that teaches it.

“Bottom line,” he said, “At the end of a conference, you hear couples say they weren’t going to come but it was a last-ditch effort. And they leave with a new commitment.”

“Stress in the Ministry” was birthed in 1989. Sagemont Pastor John Morgan asked Murrah to develop something that would help some of his peers struggling in their pastorates. Murrah, who was over Sagemont’s counseling ministry, teamed up with Rapha, then an in-hospital psychiatric program, to develop a program that would help struggling ministers.

Separate from the church’s counseling ministry, a biblically based restoration ministry was established with two goals: To help those ministers who have burned out, and to provide prevention tools for ministers endangered by burnout.

For the last six years, Murrah and his wife, Lois, have devoted themselves exclusively to the restoration ministry. Their philosophy, Morgan quipped, is that “it is better to put a roadblock at the top of the hill than to put an ambulance at the bottom.”

Morgan has been Sagemont’s senior pastor during its 41-year history, and has seen the church grow to a membership of 16,000. On Wednesday night of the “Stress in the Ministry” conference, Morgan spends about an hour with conference attendees, sharing from his heart things he has learned in his lengthy experience that can cause the seemingly unbearable stresses, he said.

“We burn out trying to keep up with all the programs and trying to keep all the plates spinning we think are necessary if we are going to be in ministry,” Morgan said. “But you don’t get stressed out just loving God and loving people. It is very important that ministers understand that if God has called them, it’s to something unique and they don’t have to be like everybody else.”

Regarding the conference, Morgan added: “God can use different things for different people. But being in a safe environment where it is OK to hurt and OK to express their hurts—I have received hundreds of letters from those who have attended who have told me how blessed they were to participate, and not one letter stating the opposite. That’s a pretty good record. I am totally convinced there are hundreds still in ministry because of this conference.”

Murrah noted that in almost 20 years, the goals have not changed, although some of the methods have changed. The conference uses lecture, lots of interaction, and much practical, experiential application. The issues that seem most pressing for the group of attendees will steer the ultimate course of each conference. As an example, Murrah noted, “From time to time the whole conference will be missionaries.  They have somewhat unique issues to deal with.”

Murrah said he believes that all distress is ultimately a relationship problem, and that the relationship dynamics in churches are much the same as those found in blended families.

“One of the main things in that regard is that it takes 5-7 years to begin to manage the [blended family or church family] effectively. Most ministers serve a year or two and start sending out their resumes,” Murrah noted.

Andy Bowman and his wife have attended two of the conferences. Bowman, pastor at First Southern Baptist Church in Keyes, Okla., praised the conference for offering a safe environment to discuss issues, and for helping you realize you aren’t the only one going through them.

He said, “In my life it salvaged my ministry and probably my marriage. I’ve heard similar testimonies from others—that it saved their marriage and ministry.” He has a deep gratitude for the Murrahs and their ministry, he said.

Bowman has since referred numerous pastors to the conference. He said one pastor told him, “I don’t have time for this.” But Bowman replied, “Do you have time for a divorce?”

“It will dramatically and radically change the way you do ministry, and change the way you are involved with your family. I became a better husband, father, and minister,” Bowman said.

For more information about the Stress in the Ministry conference, contact Dixon Murrah at 281-481-8770 or by e-mail at dmurrah@sagemontchurch.org. Remaining conference dates for 2007 are: Aug. 6-11, and Oct. 8-13.